Verbal & Emotional Abuse

Verbal and Emotional Abuse Is Real Abuse

Verbal and emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical violence — and often more confusing. Because it leaves no visible injuries, it is frequently minimised or dismissed by others, and even by those experiencing it.

This form of abuse works by eroding confidence, distorting reality, and creating fear or dependency over time.

What Verbal and Emotional Abuse Can Look Like

Verbal and emotional abuse is not defined by a single argument or harsh comment. It is defined by patterns of behaviour that cause harm.

These patterns may include:

Repeated criticism, belittling, or humiliation
Name-calling, mocking, or sarcasm used to wound
Yelling, shouting, or explosive anger
Threats — explicit or implied
Blaming you for their behaviour or emotions
Denying or minimising your experiences (“That never happened”, “You’re too sensitive”)
Using guilt, shame, or fear to control decisions
Withdrawing affection or communication as punishment
.

Individually, some of these behaviours may be dismissed. Together, and over time, they create harm.

How It Affects People

Living with verbal or emotional abuse can lead to:

Constant self-doubt or confusion
Feeling like you are “walking on eggshells”
Anxiety, depression, or loss of confidence
Difficulty trusting your own judgment
Isolation from friends, family, or support
Feeling responsible for keeping the peace
.

Many survivors say the most damaging part is not what was said — but the long-term erosion of their sense of self.

Why It’s So Hard to Name

Verbal and emotional abuse often:

Happens privately
Is framed as “just words”
Is followed by apologies or periods of calm
Is explained away as stress, personality, or humour
.

Because of this, people experiencing it are often told — or tell themselves — that it “isn’t serious enough” to seek help.

If your reality is being repeatedly questioned, diminished, or controlled, that matters.

When Children or Older People Are Involved

Verbal and emotional abuse can be especially harmful to:

Children, whose sense of self and safety is still forming
Older people, who may depend on others for care or support
.

Repeated emotional harm can have lasting impacts at any age and deserves attention.

Verbal Abuse and Coercive Control

Verbal and emotional abuse are often central to coercive control — a pattern of behaviour designed to dominate another person’s life.

This may include:

Using words to intimidate or threaten
Controlling behaviour through fear or guilt
Undermining independence or confidence
Punishing resistance or disagreement
.

Coercive control is about power, not anger.

You Don’t Have to Be Certain

Many people delay seeking support because they are unsure whether what they are experiencing “counts” as abuse.

You do not need to have the right language or certainty to reach out.
You do not need to prove harm.
You do not need to be ready to make decisions.

Talking to someone can help bring clarity.

How HKSG Can Support You

HKSG offers:

A non-judgmental space to talk
Listening without pressure or expectation
Support in identifying patterns and impacts
Guidance toward additional resources if wanted
.

We do not tell you what to do. We support you in making sense of what you are living with.

Support Now

If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

For confidential support in Australia 1800RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7)