TARGETED ABUSE

What Is Targeted Abuse?

Targeted abuse occurs when one person is singled out for sustained harm, hostility, or control by another individual or group. The abuse is not random — it is directed, repeated, and often strategic.

This form of abuse can occur in intimate relationships, families, workplaces, faith communities, online spaces, or broader social groups.

What defines targeted abuse is not the setting, but the intentional focus on a specific person and the cumulative impact over time.

How Targeted Abuse Works

Targeted abuse often escalates gradually. It may begin subtly and intensify as resistance increases or boundaries are asserted.

Common features include:

• Persistent criticism or surveillance of one person

• Singling someone out for blame or punishment

• Spreading misinformation or undermining credibility

• Turning others against the person through suggestion or insinuation

• Rewriting events to cast the target as the problem

• Using authority, status, or group norms to isolate or silence
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Because the abuse is often distributed across time and people, it can be hard to name — even when the harm is severe.

Why It’s Especially Harmful

Targeted abuse attacks not only safety, but identity and belonging.

People experiencing it often report:

• Feeling watched, scrutinised, or unsafe

• Loss of trust in others or institutions

• Social isolation or exclusion

• Fear of speaking up or being believed

• Chronic stress, anxiety, or exhaustion
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When a person is consistently framed as the problem, they may begin to internalise that narrative — even when it is false.

Targeted Abuse and Power

Targeted abuse is rarely accidental. It is often enabled by:

• Unequal power or authority

• Group loyalty or silence

• Cultural, organisational, or religious hierarchies

• Systems that reward conformity or punish dissent
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When power is concentrated and accountability is weak, targeting can be justified as discipline, concern, or protection of the group.

In Families and Close Relationships

In families or intimate relationships, targeted abuse may involve:

• One person being consistently blamed for conflict

• Family members aligning against a single individual

• Use of shame, loyalty, or obligation to enforce silence

• Threats of exclusion, abandonment, or loss of support
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This can be particularly damaging because it undermines the basic expectation of safety within close relationships.

Online and Community Targeting

Targeted abuse can also occur in:

• Online spaces and social media

• Community organisations

• Faith groups or volunteer networks
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It may involve repeated criticism, harassment, or character attacks that continue across platforms or settings, leaving the person with no clear refuge.

When Targeting Is Normalised

One of the most harmful aspects of targeted abuse is normalisation. When others participate, remain silent, or rationalise what is happening, the person being targeted may begin to question their own reality.

Abuse does not require consensus to be real.

You Are Not Overreacting

If you are being repeatedly singled out, monitored, blamed, or undermined, your response is understandable.

Targeted abuse is not about sensitivity or resilience — it is about sustained harm.

You do not need to endure it to prove strength, loyalty, or faith.

How HKSG Can Help

HKSG offers:

• A safe space to talk through what is happening

• Support in identifying patterns rather than incidents

• Validation without pressure to act

• Guidance toward additional supports if needed
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We understand that targeted abuse often involves fear of retaliation or disbelief. You can go at your own pace.